This week on Succession … Roman trips, Mencken flips, and Jess splits. And now, the Power Rankings:
1. Logan Roy (last week: NR): When you appeared in front of Congress, Senator Gil Eavis quoted Emerson and noted that every institution is the shadow of a single man. That was certainly true of Waystar Royco under your leadership and your funeral confirmed it was true of your entire life. Your mistresses sat side-by-side with your wives, your flunkies recorded your youngest son breaking down in tears to create a viral internet meme poking fun at his weakness, and the rich and powerful paid their respects while jockeying to fill the void you left behind. This was the world you believed in – one consumed with ambition, desire, of converting black bile into silver dollars - that helped you turn a buck and become one of the most powerful people on Earth. It is only fitting that you are now entombed in a mausoleum you picked up on the cheap, can be used as a tax write-off, and which none of your kids, save Connor, have any interest in joining you in after they pass away.
2. Shiv Roy (last week: 9): When you told Mencken you were flexible, you were not lying. On election night, you were warning that his elevation to the presidency spelled the end of democracy in America. Less than twenty-four hours later, you were assuring that same man that if you were in charge of ATN you would respect its audience’s support of him. And in order to secure that job, you told Matsson you will barely pause to deliver your child (much less raise it) to allay any concerns he had about putting you in charge, but telegraphed the same grim childhood for your offspring that your own mother put you through. These are the kinds of realpolitik maneuvers Logan would have appreciated, but can we put to rest once and for all the idea your moral compass is not as broken as Kendall and Roman’s?
3. Jeryd Mencken (last week: 2): Far be it for us to question the political instincts of a man just (sort of) elected President of these United States, but switching horses in mid-stream is usually a recipe for disaster. You are shorting your Roman stock because he could not keep it together at his dad’s funeral and were put off by Ken’s clumsy attempt to confirm your deal with the brothers was still operative. Instead, you are taking a flyer on a woman who literally worked for one of your opponents but promises she will not change ATN’s coverage of you. It is one thing to be a nativist who is skeptical about foreign ownership of American companies, it is another to assume that the cleanliness and purity you crave will manifest in someone who hates you.
4. Kendall Roy (last week: 3): You swung in for Roman when he could not go on and delivered a eulogy that served as a counter point to your uncle’s bitter screed. You nodded to Logan having been a tough brute with a dark energy, but justified it because of the geysers of money he made – for himself and those around him – while giving the people what they wanted. It was a cynical, if honest appraisal of your dad’s life work. Of course, words and deeds are two different things, a fact you came to realize quickly after your bravura performance. It is easy enough to marshal additional troops by dangling money in front of Hugo and a sense of purpose in front of Colin to secure their allegiance, but Mencken got wobbly after seeing Roman melt down and you could not reel him back in. Now, there will be a final battle between you and Shiv in front of the board of directors and we are going to find out if you are in fact your dad’s number one boy or just another Icarus who flew too close to the sun.
5. Lukas Matsson (last week: 6): American politics must seem strange to you. You assumed Mr. Scary was going to put the kibosh on your Waystar acquisition, but when you got the chance to meet him, all you needed to do was muse on the cultural influence you could provide and promise to appoint an American as CEO of Waystar in order to turn his head. Perhaps he is also aware you two share a willingness to cite “H” casually and it did not hurt that assorted Roy members were falling over each other thirsty for Mencken’s attention. With his promise to not stand in the way of the deal and barely a ripple from the market after dumping news of your funky India numbers, you are that much closer to obtaining your new bauble.
6. Hugo Baker (last week: NR): You can brief reporters on background in your sleep, but Kendall is offering you a trip to a world where he rules, not as your collaborator, but your master, holding you on a leash while you do his grubby work. In exchange for your fealty, the table scraps he offers will make you a millionaire. Naturally, you bark in agreement and prepare to eat out of the dog bowl.
7. Ewan Roy (last week: NR): The Power Rankings find it poor form to air dirty laundry in public but like your deceased brother, you are a crusty old man who does what he wants. Whatever humanizing strokes of Logan you painted by discussing your tough upbringing were washed away with your predictable rant painting him as an evil force in the world. But your criticism of him as a miser who hoarded his wealth was a bridge too far considering your entire livelihood was built on the money he earned while you shot spitballs at him from the bleachers.
8. Tom Wamgsgans (last week: 7): The thing about being a middle man is you are handed all of the responsibility and none of the authority. When things go south, the finger gets pointed at you even though you were not the one who made the big decisions. So we understand why you are exhausted. The last few weeks would test the fortitude of far stronger men. You were on the doomed flight with Logan playing go between him and his children as he lay dying. Your marriage, dangling by a thread for so long, appeared to have bounced back only to snap in a series of brutally honest arguments with your wife, who casually mentioned you are going to be a father. You spent election night in a cocaine haze being pulled in opposite directions and are now left holding the bag while violence erupts in the streets and you are the one being blamed for it all. You are not thinking clearly, so it is impossible for you to know whether Shiv’s offer of a brief respite at the triplex was done out of genuine concern or simply a pull of your string so she can use you to her advantage before cutting you loose.
9. Roman Roy (last week: 1): The Power Rankings sympathize with you, Roman. We too were asked to give a eulogy at our father’s funeral and know the pressure it places on someone, particularly when their relationship with their deceased parent was so fraught. But we live in a world where that type of challenge is not met with sneers, derision and social media ridicule, but support and love, you do not. And so, with Mencken mocking you as the Grim Weeper and Ken big brother-ing you while your head is still swimming, it is no surprise that you lashed out by crowd surfing against the tide of humanity protesting the chaos you helped unleash.
10. Jess Jordan (last week: 10): Right move, wrong timing, Jess. We hope Ken has a scrap of humanity left inside him so you can leave with a generous severance package. Otherwise, we fear your labors will not just go unrewarded, but punished.
Not Ranked: Cousin Greg. Marcia Roy. Connor Roy. Willa Roy. Rava Roy. Sophie Roy. Shakespeare Frank Vernon. Karl Muller. Gerri Kellman. Kerry Castellabatte. Caroline Collingwood. Peter Munion. Sally Ann. Colin Stiles. Karolina Novotny. A Pan-Hapsburg American-Led EU Alternative. Cat Food Ozymandias. Queasy Gonzalez.
Not Ranked:
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