This week on Succession … Connor buys a house, Shiv is going to be a mom, and Ken gets a promotion. And now, the Power Rankings:
1. Kendall Roy (last week: T-3): Your dad can haunt you from the grave with an errant pencil mark. Publicly, you wave around Logan’s side letter as irrefutable evidence of his wish that you take over in the event of his demise. Privately, that ambiguous black line looks far more like a strikethrough than an underline. You what he thought of you - that you were incapable of running things because you were not a “killer.” That he spent his life cleaning up every mess you made. That you are an unserious person. Added to that, senior management thinks you and your siblings are screw ups, sorry, “not constitutionally well-equipped” to fly the plane and yet, by dint of your name being on that piece of paper combined with a little arm twisting and ego massaging, you have inherited the kingdom. Is there an upside? Sure. You are still paying lip service to a three-way partnership of equals and tell anyone who will listen your goal is to get the GoJo deal done and then move on with a merged media empire that combines ATN and Pierce. However, your first steps in the (shared) big chair give us pause. Operation Embalm Lenin was right out of corporate succession planning 101 - a seamless generational transition supported by nostalgic photos of you and your dad and the golden ticket of a document confirming you as his successor. With the public good will engendered by your dad’s passing and the natural inclination to rally-around-the-flag in an uncertain time, you probably could have shepherded Waystar’s sale to GoJo without much ado. Instead, you opted for the post-Stalinist model of erasure. Was it driven by your own insecurity or a desire to get back at the old man even though he is no longer around? We think so, and allowing emotion to get the better of you by green lighting a whisper campaign that will portray your father as out-of-touch, erratic, and not in control in his final days is a risky gambit. Karolina and Hugo might try to spin this as a fresh start narrative, but you also know it is unlikely to sing in the court of public opinion (plus, Roman hates it).
2. Roman Roy (last week: T-3): Even though you have been MIA from the company for months while you, Ken, and Shiv were putting together The Hundred (before bidding on Pierce), you are still technically the COO. Being listed on the emergency draft plan was just enough to give you a modest glow up to co-CEO since names on a piece of paper are coin of the realm when the king dies.
3. Stewy Houssani (last week: NR): You have known Kendall long enough to be deeply skeptical of his ability to bring home a deal that is effectively at the one yard line no matter how much he tells you that he’s twin track, dead inside but ready to dive into the work needed to make it happen. And yet, what are your options when your old pal asks you to do him a solid the day after his father dies? Your pubes have been singed before and you know all of Ken’s faults, but at this point, you just need to hope he can keep it together long enough for you to cash out your stake and move on to the next takeover target.
4. Shiv Roy (last week: T-3): Roman has “pre-grieved” your father’s passing and Ken is catatonic behind closed doors, but you are wearing your heartbreak on your sleeve. It is bad enough you feel responsible for Logan’s death, but you are also expecting a baby, a fact you seem, at best, ambivalent about (perhaps owing to the fact your mother called into question whether you should be one when you two chatted in Italy). And when it came time to play musical chairs to decide who should take over, you are the one left without a seat. We understand the emotional trauma you are going through has you off your game, and we are not unmindful of the selflessness you displayed by not putting up more of a fight, but your contributions to the company extended well beyond the strategic review Kendall dismissed as “daddy make work.” You talked Kira off the ledge when she was ready to blow open the cruise line scandal. You locked down a settlement with Sandi just before the shareholder vote. And your left-leaning politics helped grease the skids with Nan Pierce. What you got for all this was a pinky swear from your brothers that the three of you are equal partners. Of course, Logan gave you a similar commitment back at the summer palace when he promised you would succeed him and look where that got you.
5. Connor and Willa Roy (last week: 7 and 9): A honeymoon spent in swing states was probably not the original plan, but you are not above taking advantage of Logan’s passing if it means you might get a modest bump in the polls. While we remain dubious of your chances of moving into the White House, redecorating your newly-bought townhouse so can cosplay being the First Couple of Manhattan is not a bad consolation prize.
6. Shakespeare Frank Vernon (last week: 6): This is your moment to shine, Frank. Do you have it in you to be the eminence grise Kendall needs now that he is in charge or are you eyeing the exit, ready to pull the cord on your own golden parachute?
7. Marcia Roy (last week: NR): We prefer not thinking about you and Logan engaging in intimate phone chats, but interrupting your never-ending shopping spree in Milan to flip the Park Avenue townhouse you no longer want for a cool $63 million is not a bad day’s work. That you got a chance to humiliate Kerry was just icing on the cake.
8. Tom Wamgsgans (last week: 2): If you are going to attempt to ride your bicycle across Niagara Falls, you need more than “I am here to serve” if you plan on making it to the other side. You are caught between two worlds. When you tossed your hat in the ring for interim CEO, Karl (as a friend) politely presented the negative case against you - an interloper whose patron is dead and whose wife does not even like him. Having been shot down so cleanly, you tried to make amends with the kids, but Kendall saw through your limp attempt to bury the hatchet, Shiv literally recoiled when you tried to touch her, and Roman blew you off as “Tightrope Tommy” when you tried to convince him to challenge Ken’s claim to the top spot. In the end, you were back in a familiar place, at the metaphorical kid’s table whispering gossip to Greg.
9. Karl Muller (last week: NR): Having failed to convince Frank to violate his duty as the executor of Logan’s estate by making that side letter disappear, and having precisely zero chance of serving as interim CEO, you are left to take pot shots at Tom and question whether any of the kids has what it takes to run things. Your assessment of the group was not inaccurate, but as you also know, irrelevant. The stuff you did with cable is in the 1990s rearview mirror. Now, you have your escape plan at the ready, you just need to collect your severance so you can spend your golden years on a Greek island.
10. Hugo Baker (last week: NR): You broke the first rule of working for the Roys. You handed someone actionable intel that could be leveraged against you. Of course, you have no one to blame but yourself. Had you not blurted out insider information to your daughter so she could dump her Waystar stock just before the bottom fell out, you would not be doing covert ops for Kendall as he looks to cement his position atop the org chart.
Not Ranked: Cousin Greg. Gerri Kellman. Karolina. Lukas Mattson. Kerry Castellabate. Colin Stiles. Ron Petkus. Strap Ons. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Oskar. Peter Munion. Wonder Bread and Steak Frites. Compression Socks. Frank E. Campbell’s Funeral Home. Fish Tacos. Laphroaig. Three Gauguins. Sudoku.
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