This week on Succession … Logan slips, Roman flips, and Connor gets hitched. And now, the Power Rankings:
1. Logan Roy (posthumous)(last week: 1): Your demise was not so much untimely as it was poorly timed. Everything hung in the balance. The GoJo deal, the strategic refocus, the fate of two of your top lieutenants, but when you are in your 80s and still negotiating multi-billion dollar deals while playing puppet master to your coterie of family members and advisors, it should come as no surprise that your ticker might stop running at any time. It turned out Gil Eavis’s observation about you was spot on. The institution you leave behind is a reflection of you. In the aftermath of your passing, the same paranoia, insecurity, and scheming that defined your leadership continued apace. We can debate the butterfly effect of your decision making; if you had not asked Ken to take the fall for the cruise line fiasco or cut the kids off at the knees in Italy, perhaps you would not be taking your final breaths 35,000 feet up in the air while a flight attendant tries to keep your heart pumping until you reach terra firma. But does it matter? To paraphrase the Power Rankings’ favorite band, you’re gone, and nothing is going to bring you back.
2. Tom Wamgsgans (last week: 4): We continue to be impressed with your dexterity, Tom. While Logan was still ambulatory, you were nestled inside the inner circle with some fresh Greggies you roped in from the pigpen, ready to help finalize the deal with Mattson. Your underlying Midwestern humanity shone through when you were put in the impossible position of being the virtual lifeline between the kids and their dad as he lay dying on the floor of his private jet. Then you pivoted right back to sharp-elbowed infighter, directing Greg to delete the “logistics” folder from your computer while recognizing that the loss of your protector, combined with your pending divorce from Shiv, might leave you out in the cold. So, when the plane landed and you had the chance, you did what you could to console your soon-to-be ex-wife who rebuffed your clumsy attempt to comfort her but wanted you riding in the car when she left the airport. A master class of balancing the personal and professional we frankly did not think you had in you.
3. The Rebel Alliance (last week: 3): The Power Rankings sympathize with you. We too lost our father during a period of estrangement and understand the gumbo of emotion that comes with not being able to say good-bye properly. Of course, we never described him as a human gaslight or left a message asking if he was in fact a “c” word. But we do know from emotional scars and so it was unsurprising you were at a loss as Logan’s life leaked out of him. The idea you might both lash out and tell him you loved him was completely on brand. Roman, the neediest and easiest to manipulate, refused to accept his father’s passing. Ken, barking out orders for conference calls with doctors, simply highlighted the powerlessness we all have - no matter our wealth - when a loved one dies. Shiv, whose affection for her dad curdled into a poisonous desire for revenge, was hoping the bad news was about their mom, not Logan. It was a grim tableau, but we also saw the mutual support. Ken’s level-headed thinking about next steps. Shiv’s ability to slap together a sober, but stabilizing statement for the press. Roman being deputized to call Mattson. A group hug before going their separate ways. Can it all hold together now that the chessboard has been flipped over and the one thing they each wanted since they were old enough to want things (h/t Tyrion Lannister) is there for the taking? We are about to find out.
4. Gerri Kellman (last week: NR): You have worked for Logan long enough to know that loyalty is a one-way street. No matter how many fires you put out, if you make the old man look foolish by say, snickering at his girlfriend’s audition tape, you are going to be shown the door (albeit with your mouth stuffed with gold). But with Logan out of the picture and a muddle atop Waystar’s org chart, you may have received a stay of execution. After all, who better to provide stability than a former interim CEO with the unique ability to dance the company through rainstorms without getting anyone wet?
5. Lukas Mattson (last week: 2): For all your bluster and grumbling about the ATN carve-out, you were still ready to make a deal. Now that Logan is dead, all bets are off. You could walk away and go back to testing mattresses (perhaps helping you sleep better) and shoveling junk food down your gullet or engage with the Roy kids knowing they are going to try to squeeze a few more krona out of you.
6. Shakespeare Frank Vernon (last week: NR): You have known Logan Roy for 40 years, which means you also know that when it comes time to issue the press release announcing his death, it is important for you to be mentioned by name. You know, for “market confidence.”
7. Connor Roy (last week: 7): When your dad decides to blow off your wedding day because a deal might disappear, it is no wonder you are so warped you believe that your name and wealth entitle you to be President of the United States and you can purchase a wife like most of us grab off-the-rack suits at a department store. Instead of sinking all that money into a campaign that garnered one whole percent in the polls, you should have invested it in a good therapist.
8. Cousin Greg (last week: 6): The kids hate you, Tom now has a phalanx of mini Gregs to service him, and even before he passed away, Logan found you visually aggravating due to the clumsy way you handled the Kerry situation. You flushed a $250 million inheritance down the toilet for the opportunity to be a deck hand on the Good Ship Fuck Off. Sound decision-making is not your strong suit.
9. Willa Ferreyra (last week: 9): They say you always remember your wedding day. When the Power Rankings got married, our (now ex) wife hurled a shoe at her mother like she was an Iraqi reporter at a George W. Bush press conference. You got married as your father-in-law was dying and the wealth you assumed Connor would one day inherit was suddenly up in the air. Memorable? Sure, but probably not for the reasons you were hoping for.
10. Kerry Castellabate (last week: 8): You are not the first young woman to hitch her wagon to an octogenarian assuming there would be a payout for putting out. Now that Logan is gone, you can forget about being an ATN anchor and we expect you, like he, will disappear from the Power Rankings forever.
Not Ranked: Hugo Baker. Karolina. Karl Muller. Jess Jordan. Colin Stiles. Teterboro Airport. Reagan’s Funeral (with tweaks). Catching A Foul Ball At Yankee Stadium. Loony Cake.
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