In the 1970s, Peter Falk’s Columbo perfected a
specific form of TV murder mystery: the so-called “how” (as opposed to “who”)
dun it. In today’s media environment, where shows like True Detective create byzantine, multi-layered storylines designed
to keep viewers guessing about a killer’s identity, the idea that a show could
be compelling and popular when we, the audience know “who” done it from the
start is a radical idea. After all, how interesting can it be to watch the
detective figure out what we already know?
But that is the genius of Columbo. Each episode started the same way: by establishing the relationship between the killer and the victim, the motivation for the murder, and the ways in which the killer tries to cover his or her tracks. After the deed was done, Columbo would make his rumpled entrance, cigar dangling from his mouth, a five-o’clock-shadow clinging to his jaw, and a skepticism that whatever explanation his fellow police officers came up with to explain the dead body was probably wrong. And then Columbo started to, in the parlance of our times, “cook.” It might be a clue at the scene of the crime everyone else missed or a stray comment by someone Columbo quickly sized up as a potential suspect, but whatever it was, he would methodically pull at that little thread until the entire case revealed itself to him. That Falk could make a foregone conclusion so compelling was a testament to his ownership of the role (one that garnered him multiple (and well-deserved) Emmy awards.
In true TV fashion, what’s old is new again, and CBS has revived the “how dun it” with its Thursday night offering, Elsbeth. The surface similarities are obvious – like Columbo, Elsbeth’s first act is spent briefly establishing the relationship between murderer and victim, the crime itself, and the killer’s attempt to stage the crime scene in order to draw attention away from themselves. Also like Lieutenant Columbo, Elsbeth Tascioni is a bit of a fish out of water. Whereas Columbo could be mistaken for a civilian nosing around a crime scene, Elsbeth is a civilian nosing around a crime scene (albeit under the auspices of being a consent decree monitor for the NYPD) and has a sort of manic pixie girl all grown up and with a sleeker wardrobe vibe even as she is weighed down by the massive tote bags she slings over each shoulder. They are both a little pushy and detail oriented and are not put off by ignoring social cues or conventions. In the end, they get the goods on the killer and everyone (other than the victim) lives happily ever after.
And that, friends, is where the similarities end. While Elsbeth is a decent Columbo knock off, it falters in a few obvious ways. The primary reason is that while Columbo episodes typically ran anywhere from 65 to 85 minutes, Elsbeth must resolve her cases in a scant 42 to 44. That matters enormously. Everything about Columbo unfolded at greater length and with heightened tension – from the murder to the investigation, allowing suspense to build before the inevitable conclusion. Elsbeth just does not have that luxury, so everything seems slightly hurried, the visual equivalent of listening to a podcast at 1.5x speed. This matters because so much of the enjoyment you get from Columbo is the slow burn of the Lieutenant methodically working his way to the killer by deep diving into the evidence, catching the killer in small lies that lead to bigger lies to cover the smaller lies until finally, having cornered his prey, Columbo pounces. And while Elsbeth does engage in a similar form of investigation, the more limited run time simply does not give the story enough time to breathe.
Adding to this problem is that unlike Columbo, which focused solely on investigating the murder of the week, Elsbeth has a side kick (a beat cop named Kaya) and a B story (allegations that the precinct captain where she works is corrupt) further eating into the time the show might otherwise use focused on her murder investigation. The B plot does not add anything (at least not yet) and while the presence of an informal partner is fine, the other problem is that the device through which Elsbeth is getting to these crime scenes – the consent decree monitor – is a little clunky and probably escapes the casual viewer. In this way, the show is more like Monk, who was on retainer to the police but was understood to very much not be part of law enforcement. Elsbeth, on the other hand, lives in a murkier gray area resulting in her doing things that very much look like police work even though she is not one.
The other thing that made Columbo exceptional was the not-so-subtle anti-elitism written into its scripts. Columbo was often underestimated because he looked like he just rolled out of bed and appeared dim witted. His adversaries were smart, rich, and/or influential, and routinely turned up their noses at someone who they saw as lesser. Columbo would use their dismissiveness to his advantage. By the time he had pieced together the solution, it was too late for the killers to recognize Columbo used his intelligence, gift for observation, and dogged work ethic against them. But most (if not all) of that is missing in Elsbeth. She is a wealthy, successful criminal defense lawyer who decided to switch sides late in her career. Yes, she comes across as quirky and the cops and criminals alike roll their eyes at some of her behavioral tics, but it never gets much beyond that. Moreover, the whole “country mouse in the big city” vibe the first few episodes have leaned into (the touristy upper decker ride, the foam Statue of Liberty headwear, etc.) does not make a lot of sense considering her prior place of residence was Chicago (hardly a small town), so her awe and wonder at New York seems over-the-top.
All that said, Elsbeth is not without its charms. It nicely incorporates technology (the pilot episode involves a pilfered SIM card) and pop culture (the third episode focuses on the murder of a reality star modeled after The Real Housewives franchise) into its stories and Elsbeth is played with a lightness and whimsy that fits into the idea of New York as a place of unique characters. It remains to be seen whether Elsbeth will mature into the kind of show whose re-runs will air on a daily basis 55 years from now.
