My birthday is in a few days. I am dreading it. It is just no fun to get older, especially when you are alone, it just underscores how little you have in your life. I think a lot about how it will end, in some dingy nursing home or assisted care facility, not able to wipe my ass anymore and gumming my food, no one aware that I am even still around. It does not fill me with what one might call hopefulness.
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