I went on a second date with someone yesterday. We met for lunch. It was a good sign when she texted to tell me she would be a few minutes late but would be there in "two shakes of a lamb's tail" and I immediately recognized that somewhat obscure quote as being from Pulp Fiction. Lunch itself was good and the conversation was enjoyable. The thing is, no matter how well I might get along with her, there is a nagging part of me that makes it *really* hard for me to to be open. To trust. To not be on constant alert for the slightest hint of a character flaw that sets off an alarm.
It is weird. I just read Malcolm Gladwell's newest book. One of the things he talks about is how we default to trust and ordinarily that makes sense because trusting people is the correct way to view the world. In doing so, however, we open ourselves up to sometimes being taken advantage of because some people are shitty and will use your willingness to trust against you. While Gladwell notes that some skepticism is healthy, too much is bad. And that is really my problem. I invariably expect that other shoe to drop (if only because IT USUALLY DOES) and so, do I end up sabotaging things before they are even given a chance or end up getting fucked over because I stepped on the same rake for the bazillionth time?
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