If it seems like I think a lot about death, it is because my father died at 53 and my (maternal) grandfather died at 51. Part of me feels like there is a ticking clock in my head (they both died of strokes) that will bring things to a premature end and while I hope that is not the case, I am also reconciled to that possibility. Ironically, it is the same way I look at ever finding a romantic partner - I am prepared to live the rest of my life alone while holding out hope that will not be the case.
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