Sunday, May 17, 2020

May 17

I stayed up until almost 11 o'clock last night. I did not think I was capable of doing it, but a long afternoon nap probably helped. I watched Joker on HBO. It was the second time I had seen it and it is a tough movie to get through. There is a lot to criticize about the movie and a lot to laud, each of which has been done in equal parts by people who do that much better than I do. But beyond the gore and the subtle-as-a-sledgehammer messaging about everything from white male privilege to childhood trauma was this:

THE WORST THING ABOUT HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS IS THAT PEOPLE EXPECT YOU TO ACT LIKE YOU DON’T HAVE ONE. 

That is something I think about a lot - I thought about a lot the first time I saw the movie some months ago. If you have anxiety or depression or PTS or even more serious (or chronic) conditions, you are still demonized in a way that no longer happens if your disability is physical. To be sure, it is not an excuse to put a pillow of your mother's face or stab a former co-worker in the head with a pair of scissors, BUT, the number of times I have sidestep conversations or duck out of things without revealing what I struggle with mentally is long and lengthy. There is no ~ conversation ~ to be had about this, it is just the reality of the world we live in. 

Follow me on Twitter - @scarylawyerguy

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