Megan Draper Must Die

Megan Draper makes her husband Don happy.  She keeps an eye on his drinking, encourages him to socialize with his co-workers, and is sexually available to satisfy his kinks.  She's good with his kids, doesn't (overly) abuse her position as his wife with his co-workers, and has done nice things for him, like throw a surprise birthday party.  Don speaks glowingly of her, rebuffs the entreaties of a former paramour and tells Pete Campbell that had he met Megan before Betty, he never would have erected a double life of suburban husband and philandering advertising executive. 

Pretty awesome, right?  After watching Don's tortured life unspool over 4 seasons, he's now in a good place, with a wife he dotes on and adores and a healthier attitude toward work and people.  Unfortunately, this happy place has made the Draper character 99.9% LESS interesting than he was before we caught up with the Mad Men crew a month ago. While Season 5 has afforded the writers the opportunity to move peripheral characters more to the center (I'm looking at you, Pete Campbell), the show's core is Don Draper and this guy is someone who, as Peggy noted in the season premiere, is not someone we recognize.  This guy is just a square (http://scarylawyerguy.blogspot.com/2012/04/don-draper-is-square.html) who, at worst, might experience some mild mid-life crisis (likely health related, as he's bedded more women than Wilt Chamberlain) but otherwise, appears eager to downshift into middle age with a wife he loves and children he adores.  How BORING.  

This is why Megan Draper must die.  I have nothing against Jessica Pare, or the Megan character generally (though her craptacular Zou Bisou Bisou serenade in the Season 5 premiere might have been the most painful 2 minutes in the show's history); however, stable, settled Don Draper who is open to client suggestions, meets his wife (instead of his lover) for lunch and isn't a raging alcoholic is simply no fun.  Admittedly, manufacturing some crisis to take Don down a dark path may be contrived, but Don Draper without existential angst and a tortured psyche is just another 40 year old white collar professional quickly falling on the "Perry Como" fault line of the 1960s.  

There are three ways to play the 2d Draper marriage and killing off Megan is the most plausible of the three.  Consider:

Don & Megan Start A Second Family:  This is the most obvious direction to go in.  The cliche of the middle aged man starting a second family with the "trophy wife" would not be breaking particularly new ground and anyway, Megan made an off handed comment about not being able to have children while Don was getting handsy on the way back from the Campbell's dinner party in Signal 30.  Even if they went with the baby angle, what could it really be mined for?  Either moving Don and Megan back to the suburbs (which Don equated to blowing one's brains out) or keep them in the city with her at home and he conveniently going back to his adulterous ways?  Implausible, I say.

Megan Turns Out To Not Be Who We Think She Is:  Possible, right?  She's an actress after all and what do we really know about her, other than she's French-Canadian and has an overbite (sorry, mean).  Is it possible that Megan is really a grifter or some sort of soulless temptress who is going to … what, exactly?  Take Don's money? Have an office affair? Other?  No realistic way to expound on this theory considering there's been no suggestion she's into hanky-panky with anyone in the office and has not been sending secret coded messages to persons unknown.  Sure, she might have some friends Don finds a bit unusual, and he might get dragged to Fire Island to see them, but if anything, that would confirm his security in his marriage, not undermine it. 

Megan Is The Victim Of City Violence:  This scenario makes the most sense and is the most consistent with the vibe and theme of this season, which has been littered with references to death and mayhem - riots, mass murder, random shootings, allusions to suicide, the Vietnam War and Don scribbling a hangman's noose on a pad of paper.  1966 may mark the cusp of the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, but it's also the harbinger of a lot of societal turmoil in our cities - major riots in places like Detroit and Newark, the assassinations of MLK and RFK, massive protests against the Vietnam War and of course, the Manson Family. Mad Men has already been touched by random violence (the mugging of Roger and Joan) and with the increasing lawlessness our country was facing in the mid-late 1960s (consider the exterior at the end of Signal 30 - a dark, foreboding and menacing building), would something like a pretty young woman getting killed in Manhattan seem that far-fetched?  I say not.  

The benefits of killing off Megan are three-fold - (1) total game changer in terms of story telling; (2) a buzz worthy (and plausible) story line and (3) it would completely devastate Don Draper.  Yes, I am rooting for Don to return to his dark and broken past because I cannot tolerate this man's happiness.  I'm sorry, Megan, you're collateral damage in the war to make Don a miserable (but eminently watchable) bastard.