Ten NFL Takes - Week Six

 

Take number one: There are plenty of teams with better records, but is there a better team for soap opera-level drama than the Dallas Cowboys? Four, count ‘em, four, playoff wins in the last 25 years, still living off the glory days of Aikman, Irving, and Smith, yet their owner has kept the America’s Team thing going strong. They got absolutely pasted at home and as the Lions were running their third offensive tackle eligible play you could almost hear the keyboards firing up in Bristol (ESPN) and L.A. (NFL Network) to start a new week of Cowboys discourse. And just when you thought that this defeat – the worst home loss of the Jerry Jones era occurring on his 82^nd birthday - was the icing on the cake, he stepped in it with both feet. First, in his post-game press availability when he got into it with a reporter and then the following day when he got into it EVEN WORSE during a radio interview where he threatened the host’s job. 10/10 on the Real Housewives drama scale, but 0/10 on the football field.

Take number two: If the Cowboys have a rival in the drama department, it is of course the New York Jets. Last week I said trading for Davante Adams was going to be like the couple in the shaky marriage deciding to have a baby to make things better and well, they went ahead and did it. Woody Johnson is fully embracing the sunk cost fallacy and mortgaging the future in hopes a team being put together on the fly with a revolving door among the coaching staff and led by a mercurial, soon-to-be 41-year-old with limited mobility and an eternal resting “b” face, will somehow win 8 of the next 11 games and backdoor their way into the playoffs.

Take number three: Speaking of the sunk cost fallacy, the Browns need to blow it up. Like, full-scale, strip it down to the studs rebuild because whatever they are putting on the field right now is not NFL-caliber football. Announce a fire sale and trade every asset you have to recoup (and then some) the picks you gave up for Watson, bury him on your bench or wait until next season to eat the cap hit you are going to take. Yes, I mean Miles Garrett. Yes, I mean Nick Chubb. Yes, I mean JOK. You’re Cleveland. Fans in your city are accustomed to lousy ownership, poor middle management, and a below average team, they’ll get over it.

Take number four: Caleb Williams is closing the rookie gap with Jayden Daniels and it is not because Daniels is regressing but rather because Williams is starting to find his groove. It is entirely possible by the end of the season Williams’s number will be better than Daniels’s, not because he is a better quarterback necessarily, but the team around him is better. Daniels is making it happen with lesser talent and a defense that just lost its best player, whereas Williams has three stud receivers, a solid tight end, and a strong running game to go along with a lock down defense that has not given up 20 points this entire season.

Take number five: Is there a fan base that travels better than the Pittsburgh Steelers? They played in Las Vegas this weekend and when CBS panned to the crowd, you would have thought you were at whatever they’re calling Heinz Field these days. The Terrible-Towel waving takeover of Reliant Stadium was really a sight to behold.

Take number six: Speaking of that game, maybe I’m showing my age, but I got irrationally angry seeing a fourth-round pick who has not done anything in this league trot out onto the field wearing Ken Stabler’s number 12 jersey. Like, no offense to Aiden O’Connell, I’m sure he’s a nice guy doing his best, but how is The Snake’s number not retired? My team, the former “R” words, are also a little chintzy with retired jerseys (although Darryl Green’s #28 is being retired this weekend), but what they do instead is refuse to issue certain numbers, like #44 (John Riggins), #7 (Joe Theismann (although he did grant a “waiver” a few years back for the unfortunate Dwayne Haskins (RIP) experience)), and #9 (Sonny Jergensen), but when some rumdum they pulled off the streets was given Mark Moseley’s #3, I had a similar reaction. Just don’t do it. Honor your legends and your team’s history.

Take number seven: The NFC is better, top to bottom this year, than the AFC. The AFC is basically a two-team race between the Chiefs and Ravens and maybe the Texans if they stay consistent, but the rest of the conference? Lots of question marks. The NFC on the other hand, has no one dominant team, but half-a-dozen teams that if they get hot and maybe make a trade or two (see below), could end up in the Super Bowl.

Take number eight: Remember the Rams had that famous “F those picks” motto a few years back and went all in on trading for/signing a bunch of veterans to get them that ring? If you’re the Detroit Lions, embrace this philosophy! The Lions were dealt a crushing blow when they lost Aiden Hutchinson for the season, but all is not lost. There are teams … the Raiders … cough … the Browns … cough … the Jets … cough … with more than serviceable replacements on their rosters they might be willing to part with if you F THOSE PICKS. You haven’t won a title since 1957, your offense is clicking on all cylinders, your fan base is rabid, and the conference is wide open. Go for it.

Take number nine: I hate all Philly teams. Like, just cannot stand the vibe in that city. The arrogance of their fans, their chestiness, their embrace of d-bag behavior, they are truly the worst. Since I am stuck in a part of New Jersey about 45 minutes from Philly and am subjected to local broadcasting from there, one thing I do enjoy is watching post-game shows after either the Phillies or the Eagles lose. It truly makes me happy to watch the local talking heads cry when their teams lose. So, while I was hoping the Eagles would lose last weekend, I got the next best thing – their pissy head coach jawing with HIS OWN FANS at the end of the game. Cannot think of a fan base and a head coach who deserve each other more. Just send all them on a space ship directly into the sun.

Take number ten: It is a small thing, and truly, no one outside the greater Washington, D.C. area cares, but when a Baltimore team and a Washington team play – whether it is in baseball or football – it is not a “Battle of the Beltway.” The Beltway, I-495 in and around Washington, is exactly that, a “belt” that wraps around Northern Virginia, Maryland, and D.C. You cannot get to Baltimore from Washington via the Beltway; you can get there by taking an *exit* off the Beltway onto I-95 or you can take the Baltimore-Washington (B/W) Parkway, but the only thing driving on the Beltway does is take you in a big circle around the nation’s capital.