43

I made some hay over the fact that I turned 43 earlier this month. A recent, and highly unscientific study published by The Telegraph (UK) tabbed 43 as the average age at which men reach "full maturity." [1] I do not know about all that, but here are a few life lessons that have carried me closer to that vague ideal:

Give people the benefit of the doubt until they give you a reason not to.

Do not underestimate the power of forgiveness.

Exercise regularly.

Attraction is far more about how a person makes you feel than a pre-determined list of qualities you think they must have.

Show me how a person spends their time and money and I will tell you what their priorities are.

If you are going to be in a long-term, committed relationship with another person, you need to like them. 

Read good books.

Figure out what your purpose in life is and then pursue it relentlessly.
Life companionship is not a game. It's about finding someone you get along with so well, and find so beautiful inside, that outside is just a pleasing window to the good stuff.
If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life.
The blessing is next to the wound.
Pain engraves a deeper memory.

Stand up for the things that truly matter to you. Don't waste your time on the other stuff.

Pay extra for the name brand. 

Your belt should match your shoes (men, particularly).

There is no limit to what good you can do if you do not care who gets the credit (h/t Ronald Reagan).
If the problem is not solved within two emails, pick up the phone and call. 

Sometimes you screw up. Own it, apologize, move on and try not to make the same mistake again.

You must accept people who are important in your life as is. Do not assume they can or will change because you want them to. 

At the same time, realize that people have the capacity for change. Pay attention to how they act, not what they say.

We are all imperfect. 

Understand the line between questioning authority and recognizing when a decision has been made.

Tell the people in your life you love them, but more importantly, show them, through deed, not just word, that you do.

"Please" and "thank you" are as important when you are an adult as they are when you learn those words as a child. 

Pay attention to how people treat waiters and waitresses. 

You have control over what you say and how you treat others. How those things are taken is out of your hands. 

There is a fine line between confident and cocky. 

END NOTE

1. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/10111993/Men-grow-up-at-43-11-years-later-than-women.html