Ten NFL Takes - Week 17

 

Take number one: I know the NFL preaches parity, but I’m not sure that means one of the top storylines for the final week of the season will be who gets the number one pick in the draft and not who gets in the playoffs, but here we are. There is only so much drama you can milk from a couple of teams fighting for the third wild card or jockeying for seeding position, but four teams with a shot at the number one pick because the product on the field has been so lousy this year is a terrible look. I know ratings are strong and the NFL basically prints money, but there has been A LOT of bad football this year. There are *nine* teams, that's a shade more than a quarter of the league, with four wins or fewer. In other words, more than a quarter of the league has won one quarter or fewer of their games. And yes, Lions/Vikings for the one seed is a great story, but it also draws attention to the weird way teams are seeded insofar as whoever loses will be (depending on whether Detroit wins tonight) either a 13 or 14 win wild card. 

Take number two: Because this week started on Wednesday and will not end until tonight, it is easy to forget that the Chiefs just went 3-0 in a 10 day span and won all three games handily. I know we got numb to dynasties during the Patriots’ two decade run at the top, but what the Chiefs are doing right now is just so so impressive. They revamped their wide receiver corps and offensive line *during the season* in a way that made both better while the defense has been the best of the Mahomes era. Bet against that three-peat at your peril.

Take number three: It pains me to say that about the Chiefs because as has been well documented, Lamar is my absolute favorite player in the game. He just makes things look so effortless, like everyone else is going at full tilt and he is on cruise control. He has such command of the Ravens offense right now, it is football played at the absolute highest level and yet I have zero confidence the team will make it to the Super Bowl. 

Take number four: If there is a playoff spot on the line and you walk into Giants Stadium against a 2-13 team with literally nothing to play for other than to lose and get the number one pick and instead of thumping them, you give up 45 points and lose, you deserve to be mathematically eliminated from a playoff spot. Embarrassing. Plus, your QB situation is as follows: door number one: a freak athlete who can’t complete 50 percent of his passes or door number two: a soon-to-be 40 year old who has zero mobility and throws at least one interception every time he starts a game.

Take number five: I’m happy for Baker Mayfield. Kicked to the curb by the Browns, a cup of coffee with the Panthers, a cameo with the Rams, and he finally gets in a good situation to show up and show out. Good for you.

Take number six: The Bengals did all they could to give away their game against the Broncos. Going for it on fourth down instead of kicking field goals, awful clock management at the end of the fourth quarter, their defense letting a freaking rookie march down the field to tie the game at the end of regulation and then doinking a gimme field goal that would have won the game and yet, they still won! Lots of things have to break their way next week to get into the playoffs, but I kinda feel like the powers that be in league HQ would far prefer a Bills/Bengals game than a Bills/Broncos blow out.

Take number seven: Every fan base (with the possible exception of the Chiefs) has its gripes, but consider Falcons fans. This is a team that screwed up their long-term prospects, their season, and a must-win game. Their salary cap is messed up because they signed a guy in his mid-30s who snapped his Achilles to an absurd contract that kills their ability to make moves. They then kept that guy behind center three weeks too long instead of going to the first round pick who functions much better in the offense they run and then their coach mismanaged the end of their game in Washington (we thank you!) by waiting too long to use his time outs. Just a brutal trifecta. 

Take number eight: 2024 was a potentially historic draft class. Four receivers (including a tight end) have gone over 1,000 yards, one running back has done the same, and at least two, and possibly three, rookie quarterbacks will be in the playoffs. That does not even account for less heralded guys like Joe Alt who you can pencil in as an all-pro level right tackle for the next 10 years or Quinyon Mitchell who is already shutting down top flight wide receivers. Such a deep draft of talent. 

Take number nine: Pittsburgh. Nice story for the first two months of the season, but in a three game stretch against Philly, Baltimore, and Kansas City, you went 0-3. There’s no shame in that, but you’re a one-and-done (unless you draw the Texans, but I wouldn’t bet my life on it) in the playoffs. Your ceiling is the divisional round because we no longer have a league where winning 18-16 rock fights is enough to win the Super Bowl. Get some dudes on offense and move it into the 21st century. 

Take number ten: The Tom Brady experiment is not working. It’s to the point where I cringe knowing he’s calling a game. Yes, he will drop one or two good points (albeit ones any broadcaster of repute would make, for example, criticizing the Packers for running the ball near the goal line as the clock wound down near two minutes at the end of their game) but the rest of his shtick is just … not good. Perfect example of giving a guy a job too big for his skill set and hoping he would learn on the fly. He (and we, as viewers) would have been better served if he got some reps working the “B” or “C” games for a season or two and then, if he was showing the kind of acumen necessary to do the game of the week, promote him. Unfortunately, we are coming to the part of the season where color commentary actually matters and he is just not up to the task. 

Windows of Opportunity

I was thinking the other day about how when you get divorced at 40, as I did, you have a five-to-seven year window of opportunity to find love again, get married, and start a family. But that did not happen for me. After that, another five-to-seven year window is available to date women who are either so young (say mid-to-late 20s) that there is no chance for a meaningful, long-term commitment or are more age appropriate (say early-to-mid 30s) that will probably not lead to marriage b/c at that point you're in your late 40s or early 50s and the idea of having kids at that age is just not appealing. Well, I missed that window too. Now that I'm in my mid-50s, I think there is a lag, a few years before the ~ companion ~ window opens with some other soon-to-be senior citizen who maybe had kids or maybe they did not and will be retired like me and able to just experience life but without all the messiness and complication that existed when we were younger. Until then, I will just be a cat dad. 

2024 Year In Books

 

When you're a friendless loser with no social life, it opens up lots of opportunities to read good books. This year was no exception. One thing has changed for me is incorporating what I might call junk food into my literary diet in the form of murder mysteries. They are a bit hit or miss, although I did love Richard Osman's Thursday Murder Club series. The others. Eh, kind of hit or miss. Most of my reading is still non-fiction and there were a few real bangers this year, including an excellent biography of Keith Haring (book #29) a book on a disputed Warhol that read more like a thriller combined with an insider's look at how high end art is sold (book #10), a riveting accounting of the biggest bribery scandal in the history of the U.S. Navy (book #21), and a meditation on the "greed is good" 1980s (book #25). I hope you found some gems in your own reading and look forward to seeing what 2025 will bring.   

1. The Man Who Died Twice, Richard Osman

2. The Bullet That Missed, Richard Osman

3. The Book of General Ignorance, John Lloyd and John Mitchinson 

4. The Dictionary People, Sarah Ogilvie

5. The Christmas Guest, Peter Swanson

6. World Within A Song, Jeff Tweedy 

7. The Last Devil To Die, Richard Osman

8. Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice For Murderers,

9. The Sopranos Sessions, Alan Sepinwall and Matt Zoller Seitz

10. Warhol After Warhol, Richard Dorment

11. The Maid, Nita Prose

12. The Framed Women of Ardmore House, Brandy Schillace

13. Takeover, Hitler’s Final Rise to Power, Timothy Ryback

14. How To Solve Your Own Murder, Kristen Perrin

15. Palestine 1936, Oren Kessler

16. The Mystery Guest, Nita Prose

17. Nuclear War - A Scenario,  Annie Jacobsen

18. A Shot In The Dark, Lynne Truss

19. Challenger, Adam Higginbotham

20. Life Sentence, Mark Bowden

21. Fat Leonard, Craig Whitlock

22. The Demon of Unrest, Erik Larson

23. The Golden Spoon, Jessa Maxwell

24. When The Clock Broke, John Ganz

25. Triumph of the Yuppies, Tom McGrath

26. Cue The Sun!, Emily Nussbaum

27. The Future Was Now, Chris Nashawaty

28. The Wide Wide Sea, Hampton Sides

29. Radiant, The Life and Line of Keith Haring, Brad Gooch

30. The Greatest Game Ever Pitched, Jim Kaplan

31. There Was Nothing You Could Do, Steven Hyden

32. We Solve Murders, Richard Osman

33. Paris In Ruins, Sebastian Smee

34. The Machine, Joe Posnanski

35. The Mistletoe Mystery, Nita Prose

36. Lost - Back to the Island,  Emily St. James and Noel Murray

Ten NFL Takes - Week 16

 

Take number one: We already know what the most interesting off season storyline is going to be: Whither Sam Darnold. It’s SUCH an interesting argument. On the one hand, he could go to free agency and see if one of the teams that needs a starter is willing to ~ give him his bag ~ at say $40-50 million a year but taking that deal means playing for a team like the Titans or Raiders, who both suck OR would the Vikings offer him something like the deal Baker Mayfield got from the Bucs, 3 years $100 million, with some incentives that could bump it up to around $115 million. Less money, but better infrastructure and either way, you’re financially set for the rest of your life. The Vikings could also dangle JJ McCarthy to one of those QB-needy teams and try to get a draft pick in exchange and build out their roster. The draft class is thin (most analysts agree there are two first-round talents) and more than two teams are going to need new starters. Either way, dude has made himself a lot of money this year.

Take number two: That Commanders win was particularly sweet. As I’ve documented before, I cannot stand the Eagles, just hate them with a white hot passion. Chesty jerk offs who chirp a lot when they win and whine when they lose and lo and behold they coughed up what should have been an easy win and gave our wunderkind rookie quarterback a bookend game to his Hail Mary win back in October. Just delicious. The dropped third down pass that would have sealed the game, the march down the field for the winning score, the exposure of their offense as completely pedestrian without Jalen Hurts in the game. Totally made my day even though I know the Commanders will probably lose their inevitable playoff rematch like 34-7. 

Take number three: Christmas is Wednesday and we might forget that in the 366 days since then (2024 is a leap year) the Chiefs have lost exactly … once. They are 20-1 and yet. I watched most of that Saturday game and they are rounding into form nicely. The offense they thought they would have is not what they have now, but with Hollywood Brown, DeAndre Hopkins, and Xavier Worthy added to the Kelce/Gray TE combo and the one-two punch of Pacheco and Hunt, that is a multiple offense that can get you in a lot of different ways while the defense is still playing lights out. Do YOU want to go into Arrowhead in January? I didn’t think so.

Take number four: There is nothing football geeks like better than novel plays unseen in years. Back in 2006, the Patriots gave Doug Flutie the green light to attempt a two-point drop kick in a meaningless end of season game against the Dolphins (it was successful). The play was completely legal, but so obscure it had not been attempted in more than 60 years. Jim Harbaugh pulled off something similar Thursday night with the possibly even more obscure (although attempted more recently) fair catch/free kick move. These coaches study the rule book like some rabbis study the Torah. 

Take number five: If you can tell me which version of the Ravens will show up in the playoffs, I can tell you what the likely outcome will be. The version that forgets who they are, plays tight on offense and sloppy on defense, and loses their first game or the version that just plays their game, pushes the other side around on offense when Lamar is not busy dazzling them with his pinpoint accuracy while their defense flies around the ball and suffocates the opposing offense. THAT version, which has only shown up once (against the Texans last year) could win it all, but I fear another off season of disappointment in Charm City.

Take number six: Ben Johnson is just showing off. I don’t want to say what he did yesterday was disrespectful, but his gimmick fake fumble play against a lousy Bears team that was outmatched, outclassed, and outplayed IN CHICAGO borders on the sadistic. I know the Dan Campbell Lions like to do this, but if I was on the receiving end of this in a season that has gone right down the toilet, I would NOT be happy. 

Take number seven: The Giants are one of the worst teams I have seen in my lifetime. Just completely incompetent. I wonder if there is a Hard Knocks curse because their front office was ~ smelling themselves ~ as the kids say, during the off season and the on the field product looks like a steaming pile of poo. I have no idea if the Maras are going to clean house (or if it matters) but if you are Shedeur Sanders or Cam Ward, I would suggest they do what I failed to do - avoid New Jersey. 

Take number eight: They are still America’s Team and if you doubt that, consider that a team officially eliminated from the playoffs before they took the field last night still led Sports Center this morning. Why? Because they are the Cowboys. I don’t make the rules, folks.

Take number nine: The college football playoffs? Not so good. Yes, the novelty of December football in places like South Bend and Happy Valley was high, but the quality of the games was low. Very low. At this point, college football players are essentially playing a professional schedule. A team that played last weekend could end up playing 16 (!) games if they make it to the championship game (which, hello, is not until the third week of January!)

Take number ten: Speaking of Happy Valley, congratulations to the Penn State women’s volleyball team and their coach, Katie Schumacher-Cauley on a great season and a national title. Not only an inspiration due to her battle against cancer, but a good illustration of how you win in college these days - good recruiting mixed with bringing in high caliber talent through the transfer portal. Looking forward to continued growth in what is fast becoming one of my favorite sports (and there is an NFL hook because one of their players - Caroline Jurevicius - is the daughter of Joe, a longtime Tampa Bay Bucs wide receiver) 

Ignoble Endings - Babe Ruth

 

Ignoble endings: A periodic series examining the sad conclusion to the careers of some of the greatest sports icons in history.

Babe Ruth’s impact on baseball is impossible to overstate. Beyond the statistics (about which we will have more to say below) all he did was single-handedly revitalize the game after the so-called Black Sox scandal, end the dead ball era and marshal in the modern version of the sport still played today, start the Yankees’ century of dominance by leading the team to four World Series titles, and oh yeah, his trade from the Red Sox (where he won three World Series titles in the 1910s) to the Yankees triggered the most famous curse in all of sports, one that began when Woodrow Wilson was President and did not end until George W. Bush’s first term and defined an entire region (and rivalry) for more than 80 years.

Today, Ruth is primarily known for his home runs, the number 714 is one of the few that is etched into baseball lore and understandably so. Ruth’s power was sui generis. The sport of baseball had never seen someone so prolific with the long ball. Consider that the all-time home run leader before Ruth was a 19^th century player named Roger Connor, who belted 138 home runs in a career that ran from 1881 to 1897. Ruth, in three years in the 1920s, hit more home runs than Connor did in 17 and his final tally was more than five times Connor’s effort. To put that into context, five times the current record of 762 home runs would require someone to hit 3,810 dingers, that is how far ahead Ruth was of everyone else in his day.

But home runs only tell part of the story. Ruth’s batting statistics are insane. Whether you look at traditional metrics like batting average (he hit over .370 *six* times (!) including a career high .393 in 1923), runs batted in (collecting more than 150 RBI in six seasons, and more than 160 RBI in three seasons, including a career high 168 in 1921) and slugging percentage (seven seasons above .700, including three above .800) or advanced metrics like OPS (16 consecutive seasons above .900 and fourteen above 1.000) and WAR (nine seasons with a WAR above 10 and a career WAR of 182). This is on top of the years he spent pitching, where he collected 94 wins against just 46 losses with a career ERA of 2.28. Added to that was Ruth’s larger than life personality. He was, in his way, an avatar for the Roaring 20s. His play on the field was matched by his excesses off it. He was a notorious drinker, womanizer, and gambler who spent money as quickly as he earned it.

As the 1920s gave way to the 1930s, the hangover kicked in. The country was in a depression, Ruth and the core of the Yankee teams that had dominated the previous decade were aging and fighting off the Philadelphia A’s for American League dominance. In 1932, Ruth led the Yanks to a World Series win over the Cubs, which included his famous “called shot” at Wrigley Field, but 18 months later he was no longer wearing pinstripes. What happened?

Ruth recognized his skills were diminishing and since the designated hitter would not be an option for extending careers until the 1970s, he was looking for what was, at the time, a fairly conventional exit strategy – managing.  His problem was that the owners of the Yankees were unwilling to fire the incumbent and replace him with Ruth and other owners, leery of Ruth’s off-the-field reputation, did not think the cost/benefit of hiring him as their skipper was worth taking. After a disappointing end to the 1934 season, Ruth toured Japan where he was feted like a king while back home, the Yankees were about to do something that would have once been unthinkable – trade Babe Ruth.

Ruth, by this time, was nearing 40 years of age and since no team was willing to make him their manager, his remaining value was as a gate attraction, which was exactly what Boston Braves owner Emil Fuchs was looking for to goose attendance for his awful baseball squad. The Braves (who would eventually move first to Milwaukee and then Atlanta, and yes, if you’re wondering, that means this franchise can claim two of the three all-time home run hitters as their own) were a weak sister to the crosstown Red Sox, playing to small crowds and routinely finishing at or near the bottom of the National League standings.

Ruth, given some vague promises that he might get partial ownership of the team, signed off on the deal and so it was that on April 16, 1935 he trotted out to left field for the Braves’ home opener against the New York Giants. The early returns were promising. Ruth went 2 for 4 with a home run and 3 RBI that day and followed it up by going 2 for 3 in the Braves’ second game of the season. But the moment did not last. His advanced age and weight made him a liability in the field and he was frequently overmatched at the plate. In the Braves’ next 17 games, Ruth collected just three hits, two singles and a solo home run, while his batting average plummeted to an unthinkable .149. In short order, Ruth also came to realize that Fuchs’s ownership offer was not going to be honored. The handwriting was on the wall.

In late May, the Braves visited the Pittsburgh Pirates for a three-game series at Forbes Field. Ruth did not do much in the first two games, going 1 for 8 with two punch outs, but in the finale on May 25th, he swatted three home runs - the final ones of his career - including the first to ever leave that ballpark entirely. Decades later, Ken Burns's documentary Baseball would claim this as Ruth's final game, an apt swan song for the man whose name is synonymous with the long ball, but that is not true. Ruth continued on the team's road trip, going hitless in his final five games, before retiring, unceremoniously, on June 1st. In the end, Ruth played just 28 games for the Braves, with career lows in batting average (.181) and home runs (6). He managed just 13 hits in 72 plate appearances while striking out 24 times. His play in the field was even worse, with Boston pitchers threatening to sit out games if he was in the lineup. Ruth, the greatest player of his, and possibly, any, generation, ended his career with a whimper, the man who once dominated the sport exiting it in rank humiliation.

Of course, that was not the end of Ruth’s story. Less than a year later, he entered Cooperstown as part of its inaugural class of inductees, a group still considered the greatest in the history of the Hall of Fame (which is understandable considering the other players were Ty Cobb, Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson, and Honus Wagner). After that, Ruth went into a steady decline brought on by throat cancer. On June 13, 1948, the Bambino returned to Yankee Stadium for a ceremony to retire his number. Ruth donned his iconic #3 jersey, which sagged off his now shriveled frame, his body so weak he needed to use a bat as a cane to hold himself upright. Ruth received a roaring ovation from the more than 50,000 fans in attendance and spoke briefly before disappearing into the dugout. He would be dead two months later.  

 

 

Ten NFL Takes - Week 15

 

Take number one: Ric Flair famously said “to be the man, you gotta beat the man” and if you beat the teams with the best records in both the AFC and NFC convincingly, I say, “you’re the man” at least until the playoffs start and you inevitably poop the bed because you’re Buffalo and that’s just what you do.

Take number two: It pains to say the Eagles are the best team in the NFC, it does, but the Eagles are the best team in the NFC. Complete top to bottom, and with an edge the rest of the country finds annoying but defines the city in ways only people who live there appreciate, they manhandled and outclasses the Steelers on a day Saquon did very little and Kellen Moore seemed to say “you don’t think Jalen Hurts can beat you with his arm? Watch him.”

Take number three: What appear to be reckless decisions that look great in retrospect because they work can also look idiotic when they do not. Case in point? Detroit. Down 10 in the fourth quarter to the aforementioned Bills with roughly 12 minutes left to play, the Lions went for an onside kick and it blew up in their faces. Couple that with still more injuries on a defense that was already depleted and a conference top heavy with other contenders breathing down their necks, the Lions may not even win their division, much less get the number one seed (and bye). Did that one play cost them the game? Probably not, but it certainly didn’t help.

Take number four: The speed with which the 49ers window for winning a Super Bowl went from “wide open” to “probably closed” made my head spin. Ten months ago, they were <this close> to winning it all and now they will probably not make the playoffs, the team suddenly looks old, the future is uncertain, and there are legitimate questions about whether (or how much) they should pay Brock Purdy.

Take number five: I admire Saints interim head coach Darren Rizzi for rolling the dice at the end of the game where he team just scored a touchdown and saying “screw it, let’s go for two and the win.” As a Commanders fan, I’m glad his offensive coordinator picked an awful play to call that the Commanders defended easily, but as a fan of sports, I appreciate the gamble. Your team is not going anywhere, why not give them a chance to win the game.

Take number six: I love Lamar. He is probably my favorite player in the league and watching him operate an offense when it is clicking on all cylinders is like what I assume watching Michelangelo looked like back in the day. 100 games played and he just notched his *sixth* game where he threw five touchdown passes. Granted, the Giants are terrible, but he just makes things looks so effortless it is a shame his team keeps committing stupid penalties that may not have hurt them against an inferior team like New York, but is going to bite them in the backside in the playoffs.

Take number seven: The Texans won the AFC South yesterday and it barely caused a ripple which speaks both to the expectations they have not lived up to (good? Yes. Legitimate Super Bowl contender? Not so much.) and the weakness of their division (it helps when two of the other three teams are among the worst in the league). The other teams have coaches and those coaches have done a better job scheming against CJ Stroud while Stroud and last year’s wunderkind Bobby Slowik, have not come up with effective counters. The NFL is a constantly evolving game of cat-and-mouse and that Texans offense is still trying to figure things out fourteen games into the season.

Take number eight: I cannot remember there being less confidence in a team with one loss this late in the season but when your all-world quarterback hobbles out of the game on a bad ankle and you have been winning with smoke and mirrors all season while your one loss came to a team that stomped you out, it does not actually matter that it is the two-time defending champion Kansas City Chiefs. It may be that lots of money is lost betting against them in the playoffs, but they play Saturday and then next Wednesday. If they go 2-0, they lock up that one seed and can get rested for the playoffs, but 1-1, or 0-2 (with the possibility of Carson Wentz starting for them?!) and that three-peat seems less and less likely.

Take number nine: Can you guess who is the only team with wins over Detroit and Philadelphia this year? If you said the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, you are right! 2-0 against teams who are 24-2 against everyone else they’ve played and yet does anyone think of Tampa as a legitimate threat in the NFC? I don’t know. Baker’s having a great season (although his tendency to toss INT’s has crept back in recent weeks), they have a great rookie in Bucky Irving and a stout defense. I think it speaks more to the fact the NFC is deep this year, but keep an eye on the Bucs.

Take number ten: NFL-adjacent take. I do not think the Bill Belichick experiment at UNC is going to work. Why? A couple of reasons. First, Belichick’s pitch was that he would replicate an NFL-style program which will attract top talent who want to prepare for playing professionally. Ok, but every major college football program is already this and has for years. Belichick is playing catch up against schools like Georgia, Alabama, Oregon, Texas, and Ohio State (to name just a few) who already have the pro-level practice facilities, the nutritionists, the sports psychologists, and on and on. Second, the idea that Belichick will just dazzle recruits or players in the transfer portal with his credentials is overblown. Yes, Belichick can dump his eight Super Bowl rings on the table, but there are plenty of head coaches and coordinators in the college game who have NFL experience and while the pro game used to influence the college game, the opposite has become far more prevalent, especially on offense, in recent years. Moreover, Belichick has done zero recruiting at the college level and the first guy he brought in – Mike Lombardi – has been out of the pro game for almost a decade and has no college experience whatsoever either. If we learned anything from Belichick’s time as the de facto Patriots GM, he is actually not a great evaluator of college talent. His drafts, particularly the last five years or so at New England, were terrible. The third problem is related to the second. If this was 20 years ago, then yes, simply flashing those rings might work on recruits, but in the NIL and transfer portal world where college football is basically a professional sports league WITH NO SALARY CAP, UNC is at a distinct disadvantage financially. Sure, it has wealthy boosters and alumni, but consider SMU. SMU has so much money sloshing around its football program, it joined the ACC while agreeing to be cut out of the TV revenue sharing among the schools in the conference. And guess where SMU is right now? In the college playoffs. My point is that other schools with deeper pockets, good coaching, and a track record of getting players to the NFL are not going to roll over for Bill Belichick. Which brings me to my final reason. The dude is old. At 72, other schools will recruit against both his age and suggest he might try and get one last crack at the NFL because he is so close to getting the all-time wins record. Add it all up and I think he lasts two years, maybe three, and then either retires for good or some NFL owner desperate to retool his franchise throws a bunch of money at him to coach.

Ten NFL Takes - Week 14

 

Take number one: A blocked field goal is rarely noteworthy enough to be mentioned here, but not every blocked field goal is executed by 1) a 300 pound defensive lineman who 2) leaps over the long snapper without touching him and 3) lands on his feet on the other side of the line of scrimmage so he can 4) jump *again* getting 5) just enough of his hand (invariably referred to as a “paw” when you are that big) up in the air to 6) block the attempt that would have tied the game with like 20 seconds left in it. Yes, I know it was an irrelevant win in a game contested between two teams who won’t come close to sniffing the playoffs, but as a sheer feat of athleticism, it was off the charts. Kudos, Bryan Bresee.

Take number two: Exactly one-quarter (eight) of the league has three or fewer wins. I know there are bad teams every year, but I do not remember a season with this many god awful teams. I don’t know if it’s bad players, bad coaching, bad drafting, or bad general manager-ing (probably a combination of one or more of those things in most situations) but how do you justify asking fans in say, Jacksonville, to shell out good money to watch a 10-6 rock fight against the Titans?

Take number three: The “V” in MVP stands for “valuable” and as I said last week, while Saquon Barkley is having a great season, the Eagles, with a league average running back would still be good. Take Josh Allen off the Bills and replace him with a league average quarterback and Buffalo is probably one of those three win teams I mentioned above. You want to give Barkley offensive player of the year? Be my guest. But MVP? Six touchdowns, more than 400 yards from scrimmage and almost single-handedly dragging your team to a win in a shootout with the Rams? Color me impressed.

Take number four: Nothing encapsulates the Aaron Rodgers experience with the Jets quite like tantalizing ownership into bringing him back next year by having (by far) his best game of the season in a loss that officially eliminated them from the playoffs. Chef’s kiss.

Take number five: The Chiefs are a Rorschach Test for pundits. They are either inevitable or historically lucky in a way that will be exposed in the playoffs and there does not seem to be much nuance in between, except we forget they lost their top two wide receivers very early in the season, were without their number one running back for like eight weeks, and have been putting the offense together on the fly ever since while never solving their left tackle problem. We expect Mahomes Magic and he delivers it when he needs to, but gets questioned when he is not putting up video game stats. The AFC is still the Arrowhead Invitational and I just think we need to ask ourselves whether it is more or less likely they can scratch out two wins at home in January or lose one. My money’s on the former.

Take number six: The Falcons are hip deep in the sunk cost fallacy and I wish someone would explain to Raheem Morris that he has dynamic weapons at wide receiver, tight end, and running back but a guy with the mobility of a slab of concrete behind center and maybe, just maybe, it would be a good time to see what the dual threat talent the team drafted in the first round who has a cannon attached to his left arm can do before the season slips away entirely.

Take number seven: Can Hard Knocks just follow around Mike Tomlin all day? Like, here is Mike hyping the team at Starbucks where he gets his coffee. Here is Mike pumping up his dog’s vet after a check up. The absolute star of this version of Hard Knocks and a good example of why football is both so fun and so profound. It is a game but it is also a low key form of deep male bonding, exercises in leadership, and sacrificing yourself for the greater good. I hate the term “leader of men” but watching Tomlin cook in that Steelers training facility and prowling the sidelines on Sunday is inspiring.

Take number eight: I have no idea if Sam Darnold is a mediocre quarterback being elevated by the talent around him in Minnesota or a good quarterback who just needed the right team and system to unlock his talent, but I do know some GM is going to cut him a very large check in the off season to find out.

Take number nine: I do have an idea that Jameis is who we thought he was. A roller coaster talent who can make a couple of plays a game that only the most gifted quarterbacks can make but will also toss a couple of back breaking interceptions that make you question how he has a roster spot. He’s started more than 100 games in his career and averages more than one interception per game. He has thrown 14 pick six interceptions. His arm talent means he will stay in the league well into his 30s, but his decision making means he will never be more than a back up.

Take number ten: Non-football. It sucks when good players leave your team. It is exponentially worse when they sign with teams in your division. The Nats were a joke when they came to DC in 2005 and then clawed their way into relevancy by drafting well, making strategic trades, and signing free agents. They won more regular season games than any other team in the 2010s except the Dodgers and ended the decade by winning the World Series. And then … they slid into irrelevance and don’t seem to be too eager to do much about it while the freaking Mets just cut Juan Soto a check for three-quarters of a billion dollars and he will come to Nats Park in their uniform for the next 15 years while Bryce Harper is now in like year six of playing for the Phillies. Just infuriating.

Ten NFL Takes - Week 13

 

Take number one: Pretty sure it’s a fireable offense to toss your $55 million quarterback whose non-throwing shoulder is still wonky, out on the field in a meaningless game when you’re 2-9, but I’m not Doug Pederson. But if that is not a fireable offense, then surely it is when he gets hit late, his head bounces off the turf like a basketball and he’s carted off with a concussion. 

Take number two: Not gonna lie, I was nervous about the Washington game against the, yes, god awful Titans, but also a team that has a top 5 defense (it’s true, look it up!) But a blow out and a bye will hopefully right the ship and the team will get to the playoffs.

Take number three: Another one I can’t believe is not on the unemployment line? Joe Schoen. Your boss literally says - ON CAMERA - that if a player you decide to let walk (Saquon Barkley) ends up doing well with one of your division arch rivals, you’re not going to be happy and he not only does well but is a top 3 MVP candidate, and yet. Add that to another guy you traded away (Leonard Williams) and let walk in free agency (Xavier McKinney) who are also balling out and you just released the quarterback you handed $80 million to the mix, and the Schoen family will surely be looking for new housing come January. 

Take number four: It is too bad Brock Bowers plays for one of the three worst teams in the league because on paper he should be getting more rookie of the year hype. He is going to set the rookie record for catches by a tight end, which may end up being north of 100, while catching passes from (checks notes) Gardner Minshew, Aiden McConnell, and Desmond Ritter. 

Take number five: Nice to see Bryce Young bouncing back from the struggles he had as a rookie and early into his second season. Good reminder we should not give up on talented players just because it takes them a little longer to pick up the pro game.

Take number six: You have to feel bad for Joe Burrow. I saw a stat on ESPN noting he has thrown for more than 300 yards with 3 touchdowns and zero interceptions five times this year and the team’s record is 0-5 in those games. He’s got 30 TDs and 5 INT’s and is already well over 3,000 yards passing and yet he’s saddled not just with a terrible defense but a franchise with a long history of coming close to winning it all and then going into a slow and steady decline. 

Take number seven: Had the Bears not fired Matt Eberflus the day after their awful loss on Thanksgiving it would have dominated the NFL discourse all weekend but they lanced the boil and got rid of a guy who well deserved it. You can’t lose that many games in that many embarrassing ways (four losses that came down to the literal final play of the game!) and keep your job. Some coaches are just not cut out to be anything more than coordinators and that’s fine. Eberflus can have a long career as a respected DC, but handing him the big job ever again? Um, no.

Take number eight: The Chiefs and Ravens are weird. The former is winning close games late at a rate rarely seen and the latter spit the bit any time they lose momentum in big games. I know people have lost a lot of money over the years betting against Mahomes (and made money betting against Lamar) but do you trust either of these teams, the former with a wonky offensive line, anemic offense, and defense starting to fade, and the latter, that looks unstoppably one week and pedestrian the next whose HOF kicker looks like he has the yips, and a history of coming up short in the playoffs? 

Take number nine: Eagles record after 12 games in 2023? 10-2. Eagles record after 12 games in 2024? 10-2. Bills record after 12 games in 2023? 6-6. Bills record after 12 games in 2024? 10-2. Don’t tell me Saquon is MVP when the team he plays for has the exact same record it did last year and have a far better defense this year than last when Josh Allen, with less talent on offense and defense than last year has the Bills four games better while rarely turning over the ball and throwing/running for 27 TDs.

Take number ten: Non-sports related. I love women’s college volleyball. Great athletes, fast paced, passionate fan bases. It’s a sport on the rise to the point where ESPN did a selection show for the NCAA tournament that starts on Thursday. But the worldwide leader really messed up this show and it made me so mad. The production was amateur hour - graphics that came up too early, showing three of the four top seeds but not the fourth which probably made little sense unless you knew A LOT about the game, the reaction shots from the teams when they got announced not syncing with the actual announcement, shaky sound on the interviews (which were not illuminating in the least and too short) etc etc. They did not put their best foot forward and that is a real shame because the sport deserves more attention.