Ten NFL Takes - Week Seven

Take number one: Lamar is in a different stratosphere than the mere mortals playing football right now. Brian Baldinger called Lamar the conductor of the Ravens’ offense and it was an apt term. We have the running back section with a 30-year-old freight train on pace to break the single season rushing record, backed up by a change-of-pace third down wizard and a lead blocker who is as big as an offensive lineman. Then we have the tight end section, with three studs who can block, catch, and get YAC. And let’s not forget the wide receiver section, who are getting favorable match ups because defenses have to guard against Derrick Henry randomly breaking off an 80-yard run. And, last but not least, an offensive line that is mauling defenses. All Lamar has done in the last five games is go 88 for 123 (71.5%) with 13 touchdowns and 1 interception while adding another 288 yards on the ground. Remember, the Ravens are half an Isaiah Likely foot and a fourth quarter defensive meltdown against the Raiders away from being 7-0.

Take number two: The 2024 Chiefs are morphing into the 2018 Patriots. You remember the last Patriots Super Bowl winner, right? Wide receiver room that included such forgettable names as Phillip Dorsett, Chris Hogan, and Matthew Slater. An over-the-hill Rob Gronkowski led the tight ends and their leading receiver was not a receiver at all, it was a running back named James White. What that team did have was a suffocating defense that turned Super Bowl 53 into the biggest snoozefest on record. But you can get away with that when you have the best quarterback in the league behind center and that’s basically what the Chiefs are doing right now. They lost their top two wide receivers (although as I’m writing, there is some buzz they are trading for DeAndre Hopkins) and their top running back, Travis Kelce has yet to sniff the end zone, and the last time the team scored 30 points was Week 12 of last season and yet they have now won 12 games in a row even though Mahomes is having the worst statistical year of his career because they have one of the two or three best defensive coordinators in the league and a dominant defense. So impressive.

Take number three: Not to get too philosophical with the 15 people who are going to read this, but I don’t think there is much justice in this world, but, maybe the closest you can come to it with a guy who was accused of sexually harassing and/or abusing two dozen women is having his Achilles pop like a guitar string on national television, likely ending his career. No, the money he almost certainly paid those women to make their lawsuits go away will not make up for the trauma he allegedly inflicted on them, and I am sure he still has enough money from his fully guaranteed contract to last for generations to come, but the one thing he devoted his life to being has been taken away from him. And, not for anything, a bit of karmic justice for Browns ownership too. You finally built a decent roster, put it in the hands of a terrible human being and now you’re in cap hell with a lousy record and an abundance of questions going forward.

Take number four: Among the four major North American sports leagues, the NFL’s trade deadline has historically been the least interesting, but here’s hoping that changes this year. The Chiefs’ undefeated record notwithstanding, both conferences have a bunch of teams with playoff and/or Super Bowl aspirations and on the other hand, there are a bunch of teams that are going nowhere fast but have desirable players for whom draft picks could be collected by sending them to one of those playoff-bound teams. I am Team Chaos.

Take number five: One trade that did work out for both teams is the quarterback swap Detroit and Los Angeles made a few years ago. The Rams got their ring, the Lions got a guy who is now at worst at top-2 contender for league MVP. It does not hurt that Jared Goff is surrounded by more weapons than a Navy SEAL unit and a brilliant offensive coordinator, but he’s the trigger man, he’s the one delivering those throws, making those reads, and leading that team. Detroit is one of the best stories in the league this year and apropos of my prior point, I do hope they make a deal for a defensive lineman. The NFC is there for the taking.

Take number six: I typically describe myself as a lapsed “R words” fan (the Commanders name is stupid, sorry). And can you blame me? For the last 25 years, the only thing worse than the product on the field has been the ownership of the team, but both those things changed during the off season and then of course, seven games into a new era, our transcendent talent of a rookie quarterback lands awkwardly on a 45-yard run and we hold our collective breath while we spend the rest of the season hoping Jayden Daniels’s ribs don’t crack and he doesn’t suffer any more injuries. And that’s the thing, rookies come into the league like new cars rolling off the showroom floor, but you have no idea when the first dings and scrapes are going to occur or god forbid the head on collisions that total them. Malik Nabers and Marvin Harrison, Jr. have already suffered concussions, Joe Alt sprained his MCL, and now Daniels is now week-to-week. That’s four of the top six picks in last year’s draft who have already missed time and we are not even halfway through the season.

Take number seven: Speaking of that R words game, the Carolina Panthers are not a functional professional football team right now. You might have forgotten that in 2022 they fired their head coach and went 6-6 down the stretch under interim coach Steve Wilks, who relied on a stingy defense and punishing running game. Instead of giving Wilks the gig full-time, owner David Tepper mortgaged the future to move up in the draft to pick Bryce Young and hired Frank Reich to coach him (he lasted 11 games). Since Wilks left, the Panthers have played exactly twice as many games (24) and won exactly half as many (3). Yes, there are other examples of inept franchises in recent memory – the 2017 Browns and the 2008 Lions both went 0-16 – so I guess the Panthers are simply the latest example of what happens when you get that mix of terrible ownership, awful player personnel decisions, and a revolving door at head coach.

Take number eight: Speaking of inept franchises, can we stop talking about the Jets now? The team is 2-5, is listless on offense and suddenly can’t play defense. They need to go a minimum of 8-2 the rest of the way and have already lost to two teams (Pittsburgh and Denver) they will probably be fighting for a wild card spot. They went all in on Rodgers and it is just not working.

Take number nine: Has any team suffered a worse loss this season than the Buccaneers did on Monday night? Their season likely ended with injuries to Mike Evans and Chris Godwin and it just bummed me out. I don’t think it was fair to criticize Todd Bowles for keeping Godwin in the game late in the fourth quarter for two reasons: 1) the rest of the first team offense was also on the field, it’s not like Godwin was out there along with a bunch of second stringers and 2) the game was technically not out of reach. Unlikely, sure, but over, no. Football is a violent sport where fluke injuries happen all the time.

Take number ten: Every football talking head show has one or more gimmick segments. I mean, they play *PICTIONARY* on the NFL Network’s Sunday pre-game show for god’s sakes, but for what it’s worth, here are my five favorites: number five, Big Man Ballin’ (Marcus Spears), number four, Sat ‘Em Down (Jeff Saturday), number three, Chill, Bruh (Adam Rank), number two, Team Tiers (Nick Wright), and number one, Angry Runs (Kyle Brandt), without a doubt the most simultaneously absurd and hilarious feature of them all.