I do not want to compare quarantining, or whatever it is you want to call spending five plus months largely at home as being like solitary confinement, BUT, it does share some similarities. On the face of it, the idea you could spend all your time in your comfortable home, have the material comfort and job security that you are not stressed about the mortgage or your bills, sounds lovely. But when you live it - or at least as *I* live it, is draining me mentally. Maybe it's in part because I don't have close family or friends to talk to (the crumbs of conversation are usually work related aside from an occasional quick chit chat) and I do go out of the house unless I have to (not even sitting in the backyard). The monotony of it, the fear of choosing the wrong time to go to the wrong place and running into the wrong person who has COVID and somehow getting infected informs every decision I make even as I long for even a modicum of attention (much less affection).
Lately, I have been struggling just to get through this summer - it has been hot and I have been stressed about the HVAC (which is getting a tune up next week) and just being ... uncomfortable in my own home. But yesterday I was thinking about what *winter* will be like. To be sure, I have the gas fireplace which is a main source of heat (allowing me to run the central heat less) but being in the house every day in winter just does not seem (or sound) ideal. It has a very The Shining vibe to it. I don't know, maybe it's never going to be back to "normal" until a vaccine arrives.
In the meantime, I do understand the desire to tempt fate. I would *really* like to go out on a date or two, or just see another living human being for more than 5 minutes. Knowing my luck, I would do it, catch COVID and drop dead.
Follow me on Twitter - @scarylawyerguy
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