Previous Power Rankings:
This week on Succession, Logan takes a meeting, Connor gives a eulogy, Roman does some work, and Greg gets a promotion. And now ... the Power Rankings:
1. Logan Roy (last week: 1): When Logan Roy says something will happen, that thing happens, and in this case, the wheels are in motion for the PGM acquisition. Otherwise, it is steady as she goes on the good ship Fuck Off. Shiv has been brought into the fold, Roman is off at management training and Kendall is diligently apportioning out the old man’s meds. Sure, an ATN employee killed himself at his desk and Logan had to install a (tasteful) anti-suicide barrier on the roof of Waystar HQ so his number one boy does not take a header off the building, but now that Shakespeare Frank has greased the wheels with Rhea Jarrell, Logan’s long-held dream of screwing over his brother Ewan by buying the media conglomerate he gets his news from is that much closer to reality.
2. Rhea Jarrell (last week: not ranked): What price can you put on fronting a news organization with a carefully cultivated reputation for objectivity that has exercised editorial independence for 150 years? Apparently, $24 billion, give or take. You see the synergies, you can almost taste the payout, but you are a mere conduit for the interests of your Pierce family overlords, so you will take Logan’s eight-figure offer to them, along with your honest assessment of whether he can be trusted (yeah, right).
3. (tie) Shiv Roy and Kendall Roy (last week: 6 and 2, respectively): Safe Room highlighted a point I made a few weeks ago - when the Roy kids are working together instead of trying to step on each other, they make a formidable team. Rhea confirms Kendall’s initial assessment of a potential merger (a “plug and play” connection that offers cost-cutting opportunities) but needs Shiv, and her more liberal politics, in the room to open the door for serious negotiations. Shiv also recommends firing neo-Nazi hairdo Mark Ravenhead well before Rhea suggests the same thing as a peace offering toward the Pierces.
But it was the final scene of the episode that really shook me. A show that rarely allows its characters to be vulnerable with each other did so in an agonizing way. Kendall is broken and consumed with guilt and he finally lets that out, if only for a moment, when he and his sister embrace. Instead of pulling away, she softens, and, for a moment at least, the scheming is set aside because this is her brother, exposing himself in a human way.
5. Cousin Greg (last week: 7): Say what you will about Greg, but when the time came to level up from executive assistant to executive, he played his hand beautifully. Blackmailing Tom for a seat at the grown up table was nicely done, but going from a combination of Tom’s coffee boy and Kendall’s drug hook-up to a corner office is going to be a bumpy ride.
6. Gerri Killman (last week: 3): A good general counsel wears many hats. She must understand the intricacies of her company’s 10-K statement, the finer points of a potential acquisition’s pension plan, and be vigilant for an out of the blue crisis like a satellite blowing up on the launch pad. It is understandable that after a long day at the office, Gerri likes to unwind with a nice martini and some hard core phone fetish play with her boss’s son.
7. Roman Roy (last week: 8): Sometimes, to get ahead you have to take a step back. In Roman’s case, it means walking around a Waystar amusement park as the World’s Biggest Turkey and having his lines from the welcome video omitted. Suffering through lame team building exercises and stale pastries is a small price to pay if it means making his way back into Logan’s good graces. Of course, the only thing more predictable than his laissez faire attitude toward management training was the reveal that he is a submissive who gets off on being told what a bad boy he is by a powerful older woman. Gobble-dee-go-fuck-yourself!
8. Willa (last week: not ranked): Being sent as an emissary to the funeral of a long-tenured Waystar Royco executive is a tacit acknowledgement that Willa is slowly being woven into the Roy family tapestry. This is the kind of skill one needs to hone if one is going to be the First Lady of our nation; however, Willa’s true contribution, landing her first ever spot on the power rankings, was her anodyne, on-the-fly eulogy of Moe(Lester) for Connor, saving him from any embarrassment once Michelle Pantsil’s biography of Logan is published, complete with whatever dirty details the now dead Uncle Meathands shared.
9. Brian (last week: not ranked): Life at Waystar Royco is a funny thing. One day you’re slumming it at the Fort Myers resort being held back by supervisors who do not appreciate your unique blend of intellectual promiscuity and cultural conservatism, the next day you’re hobnobbing with “Ron Rockstone” spitballing knock-off Saving Private Ryan VR experiences on the fast track to corporate HQ in New York City.
10. Tom Wamgsgans (last week: 10): Going from the cruise line division, with its unreported sexual assaults and hush money payments, to ATN, with its possibly neo-Nazi anchors (but he does skew young!) and Antifa protestors, has a bit of the frying pan into the fire vibe to it. Nothing like having to ask your star news anchor if he's ever been a member of the American Nazi Party or double check his math on the body count from World War II to drive home the point that Tom is in-over-his-head. Jonah may be a human foot stool for him to humiliate, but when the shit hits the fan, Tom is relegated to the kid's table safe room, getting dunked on by Cousin Greg, who is looking to escape from Tom’s insecurity gravity field. On the plus side, a job has opened up in the “latte me” department.
Not Ranked: Marcia Roy; Connor "interested in politics from a very young age" Roy; Tabitha; Frank; Jamie; Karolina; Michelle Pastil; Mark Ravenhead; The Wolfpack; Maria, Lester's Sad Widow; Jonah, the Human Foot Stool; Jess; Stewie; Sandy Furness; Sno-Jo; Paula Conroy, the overly excited Waystar Royco management training coordinator; Coriolanus; Brian's nephews Cooper and Clark; Frank's library card; the candy and vape fluid Kendall stole.
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